Love Island is back and as heterosexual as ever.
But viewers are dropping like flies – with numbers withering away episode by episode. In fact, this season's premiere only attracted 2.47 million viewers.
Now I know what you're thinking, that's hardly a measly number for post-watershed ITV2.
But when you compare it to the 4.8 million who tuned into the start of last year's show, and the nearly six million who gave the 2019 season a go – something is clearly wrong.
It didn't help that this season clashed with the Euro 2020 finals – creating the ultimate straight dilemma.
Do you think the Love Island recruiters need to find LGBTQ stars to make the show more representative? Have your say in the comments below
The couples on this year's Love Island are palatable and inoffensive – but boring, repetitive and inexcusably exclusive
But football, unlike the England team itself, came out victorious. Unsurprisingly so, because the game held one thing Love Island doesn't: unpredictability.
For a show that mainly appeals to the Millennial x Gen-Z hybrid, Love Island seems to be rapidly falling behind the times.
The majority of stars from the show are not only straight but the very epitome of it. Their banter, style and even relationships are palatable and inoffensive… but they're boring, repetitive, and inexcusably exclusive.
What's worse, is that this could all be fixed so simply – by making Love Island gay.
Even the chemistry seems forced at times
But when challenged about its overwhelming straightness * , producers dubbed a potential LGBTQ+ Love Island "a logistical difficulty".
What's so difficult? Brad couples up with Martin then dumps him when Trevor enters the villa because he has a moustache – it's simple.
Last time I checked, there are more than a few gays and theys who would die for an IG-sponsored career and collabs with Pretty Little Thing.
There's plenty of gays and theys who would love an IG-sponsored career post-Love Island
The gays are used to sparking trends and propelling things into the mainstream: take skinny jeans, disco and nail polish (warning, satire in play here).
So, unless Love Island wants to watch its show's not-so-slow demise – let the gays save the day.
* It's worth noting that there have been contestants on Love Island who do not identify as straight. However, their time on the show has been solely based on their attraction of the opposite sex.
Love Island continues tonight at 9pm on ITV2